Midi start & stop

"Turn Your Eyes To Jesus"
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We have all learned to live with
"voice mail"
as a necessary part of modern life.
But have you ever wondered,
"What if God
decided to install voice mail?"
Imagine praying and hearing this:

Thank you for calling
My Father's House.
Please select one
of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquires.

What if God
used the familiar excuse...
"I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy
helping other sinners right now.
your prayer is important to us
and will be answered
in the order it was received,
so please stay on the line."

Can you imagine
getting these kinds of responses
as you call God in Prayer:
If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1
For Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other Angels,
Press 3

If you would like to hear King David
sing a Psalm while you are holding,
please Press 4.

To find out if a loved one has
been assigned to Heaven,
Press 5,
enter his or her
Social Security number,
then press the pound key.
(If you get a negative response,
try area code 666.)

For reservations at
"My Father's House"
please enter
J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions
about dinosaurs,
the age of the earth and
where Noah's ark is,
please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that
you have already prayed once today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

This office is closed for the weekend
to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again
Monday after 9:30 AM.

If you need emergency assistance
when this office is closed,
contact your local pastor.


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