An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having
just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she
responds, "Don't touch me." "Why not?" he asks. She answers
back, "Because I'm dead." The husband says, "What are you talking
about? We're both lying her in bed together and talking to one
another." She says, "No, I'm definitely dead." He insists,
"You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts".
Remember, once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all !
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have
I always know God won't give me more than I can handle but there are
times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.
Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing
in a garage makes you a car.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Some days are a total waist of makeup.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
before you need it.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Learn from the mistakes of others.
Trust me .... you can't live
long enough to make them all yourself.
I've tried ! !
God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Day